when connection feels fragile, it can be restored

“Case Bottle with an Amorous Couple” 1800s, India

Couples Therapy in San Francisco

Every close relationship carries joy and strain. When things go well, intimacy can feel grounding, enlivening, even restorative. When things go badly, it can feel as though the ground beneath you has cracked. You may find yourselves having the same argument again and again, or retreating into silence to keep the peace. Affection may feel buried under resentment, mistrust, or distance.

Couples therapy offers a space to slow down, to speak and listen differently, and to work with the patterns that have left you feeling stuck. I offer couples therapy in San Francisco that is thoughtful, honest, and inclusive of diverse identities and relationship structures. I am attentive both to what I may share with you and to the differences — of culture, identity, history, or relationship practice — that shape how you love and live together. Whatever your partnership looks like, I aim to meet you with respect and seriousness.

Why Couples Seek Therapy

Couples often reach out when the relationship feels unmanageable on their own. Common reasons include:

  • Constant arguments or escalating conflict

  • A growing sense of distance or lack of intimacy

  • Mistrust after betrayal, secrecy, or infidelity

  • Differences in needs, values, or desires that feel irreconcilable

  • Fertility, parenting, or major life transitions that strain the bond

  • Navigating open, polyamorous, or non-traditional relationship structures

  • A wish to strengthen the bond, even without crisis

Whatever brings you here, therapy is a way of saying the relationship matters enough to fight for clarity and change.

How Couples Therapy Helps

Breaking old cycles
Every couple has patterns — arguments that flare, silences that linger, hurts that resurface. In therapy, we slow things down to see those cycles clearly, so they no longer run the show.

Restoring communication
Couples learn to express needs more openly and to hear one another without the automatic defenses that fuel conflict.

Rebuilding closeness
When mistrust or distance has grown, therapy provides a way to approach it directly and carefully. Many couples find they can recover intimacy — emotional, physical, or both.

Building resilience
Healthy couples aren’t conflict-free; they face differences without breaking down. Therapy strengthens the ability to meet challenges together with honesty and respect.

My Approach

My work with couples is emotion-focused and depth-oriented. I pay attention not only to the surface arguments, but also to the emotional undercurrents that drive them. In the room, I attend to:

  • What happens between you in the moment

  • How past experiences shape present reactions

  • The influence of power, gender, culture, and identity on your partnership

  • The possibility of creating something more authentic together

The Process of Couples Therapy

Initial consultation
We meet together to hear from both partners about the history of your relationship, the struggles you face, and the changes you hope for.

Regular sessions
Most couples come weekly; some benefit from more intensive work, especially during times of crisis.

Exploring patterns
We look closely at the dynamics that repeat — the flare-ups, the shutdowns, the missed connections. We attend not only to what you argue about, but how you argue, and what’s unspoken beneath it.

New ways forward
Over time, many couples find they can speak more openly, listen more generously, and return to one another with more trust and tenderness.

Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

James Baldwin, “The Fire Next Time”

Common Questions

Will you take sides?
No. My role is not to declare one partner “right” and the other “wrong.” But I also don’t sit back and let harmful patterns continue unchecked. I hold both partners accountable for the ways they contribute to the cycles of conflict, while helping each of you feel understood.

What if one of us is unsure about staying?
Therapy can be a place to clarify whether to repair the relationship or to separate thoughtfully. Both directions benefit from honest conversation in the room.

How long does it take?
Some couples seek short-term help with a pressing issue. Others stay longer, using therapy to make deeper changes and strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Getting Started

Choosing therapy as a couple is not a sign of failure — it’s an act of care. It means you are willing to look closely at what is difficult and to work toward something better.

I offer a thoughtful, dedicated space where your relationship is treated with respect and seriousness — a place where we work together to restore connection, repair trust, and support growth.

If you’re ready to get started, I invite you to reach out and schedule a free consultation.